Initially, I would like to tell you about my story- a short story between me and him. That seems an romantic fiction but it is based on a real story. I don't hope that he will read this story. I only want to write down here to release my emotion and bad feelings that I miss him so much. 

Back then August 2020, I got a scholarship to come to Thailand for Master's degree. I am an international student and he is a Thai student. We are in a 6-month group.

Initially, I was really worried about all knowledge in that course due to the barrier of language and more different teaching methods, compared to my country. With my feeling of an international student, among 5 classmates in group, I chose him to ask something related to Thai culture, Thai language, and lifestyle in Thai, by accident. I did not expect a detailed answer, however, he was really enthusiastic to explain to me more and more than what I expected. I remembered that he said to me "Don't worry about anything, we will beside you for supporting" 

"Oh, so kind. All of Thai people are so kind, treat me so well, like that...., ummm......, Cool. Thailand - a worthy living city"

Gradually, he and I chat chit and talked more and more about assignments, about what I didn't understand in class, working in team work, even to be my Thai interpreter and many different topics such as supermarket, travelling, where he lives, the weather, stock, etc, although we have not met in-person yet. Only some times I saw him and he saw me via Zoom or Ms Team and called together through Line App. I was familiar with his alarm by cute stickers every morning.... to wake me up.... to study online on time..... to turned in assignments on time and even to send me a ticker to tell me " I miss u "

And I was extremely stupid, I didn't think that he fall in love with me or not. I thought that all of Thai people treated me so well like that because they are so kind, so nice and enthusiastic. In my opinion, almost what he said to me and chat to me were a joke. Until that day, that day I lost him, lost our friendship.

After a class, we talked together as usual, he mentioned a BF. In my mind, BF stands for Boy friend or Best Friend, also. It was a joke, I thought. He looked like a comedian, so I would tease him again. I talked about my BF ( best friend) so much. After that, he did not talk any more, only sent to me a message " I am a broken heart" 

"Oh what........ a joke or a real" I don't know. 

After that day, the frequency he chat chit and talked to me less and less than before. Actually, I did not the main reason why he treated me like that and changed his behavior to me. I didn't know, so I sent messages to him but he only read, not yet replied. 

I realized that I lost him... I lost indeed.

I really want to explain more and more to him about BF , but, perhaps he doesn't want to contact to me anymore. He thought that I took advantages of him, didn't him? No, I really consider him as a best friend. How did he think about me?

A few months later, I am gonna come back to my country, maybe, I won't have any chances to meet him in-person. Finally, my studying abroad trip gave me an unforgettable memory of the first love or the first true friendship. oh no, not a friendship, it is more than a friendship but not yet to be love.

Ummm. Finally, I start to miss him again, my male friend. How do you think about me?????? I really respect you.